Porgs. A few months ago, we didn’t even know they existed. Now, many Star Wars fans are so ride-0r-die for Porgs that they promise to “burn the Star Wars franchise to the ground” if even one of these cuties dies.

Okay, not really.

But, seriously, how hyped should we get for these little space puffins? Are they crucial to the plot or will they only be limited to Ach-too? If the latter is the case, members of #PorgNation are gonna need to sit down and rework their priorities.

The marketing is strong with Porgs: pajamas, plush dolls, and even a Porg-shaped mugs (where you can creepily drink out of a Porg’s head) are prominently featured at nerd merchandise hubs like Hot Topic and the Disney Store.

I just searched “porg” on ShopDisney.com and yielded 266 results. WHAT THE PORG?

Oh, and the memes! Have you seen the porg memes?

And why is the Porg on the Falcon? Did Chewy see the perpetual frown on a Porg and decide to keep him and dress up this little guy in a vest and bloodstriped trousers? I’m totally down for it. Hey, we all grieve in different ways.

I, personally, don’t think that the Porgs will have the importance of, let’s say, the Ewoks– without the Ewoks the rebels would have never won the Battle of Endor, come at me– and they’ll be relegated to comedic cuteness during Rey’s inevitably temporary stay with Luke on Ach-too.

Or maybe the Porgs are the only thing keeping Luke from going completely insane on Ach-too. What if he talks to them? Please, please, please give me a scene with Luke talking to Porgs. I mean, if you really think about it, the existence of the Porgs contribute to the strength of the Force:  “It’s an energy field created by all living things”. Perhaps Rey will be training on her own at the cliffs, and the Porgs fly around her in an epic way when she’s reminded that Force surrounds her and binds her with every thing on the island and, furthermore, in the galaxy.


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